And still, the darkness comes
by Becjen80
Summary: How much is too much for the great Detective Jane Rizzoli? A story that follows Jane down into the depths of despair and watches as she tries so desperately to clamber out and gain control as her past and present begin to collide.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

Jane awoke suddenly, the screams of the helpless still ringing in her ears from the nightmare. She sat up abruptly and wiped the slick layer of sweat from her brow. Light flooded her room, though looking at her clock, it would still be dark outside; she had left her lamp on again.

_4.00am._

Jane rubbed her tired eyes and swung herself out of bed, a routine she was now thoroughly in. She plodded in to the kitchen and opened the tap, pouring herself a glass of water. Leaning against the counter, she closed her eyes and sighed heavily. Should she call Maura? Her friend did tell her to call if it happened again. However, she wasn't yet willing to admit that this routine was a frequent occurrence - even to Maura. Jane went blank, her mind filling up with memories of the nightmare that had begun to take over her life. It was only the sound of smashing glass that bought her back into the room.

"Fuck." She dove to the floor; taking cover from what she instinctively thought was an attack. The sound of glass however, came from her dropping her water glass to the floor. Once realising this, she began to shake uncontrollably. The shaking turned into crying which in turn lead to sobbing, followed by a white hot rage. Grabbing another glass of the shelf, she threw it with all her exhausted might at the wall opposite her. She stormed into her bedroom and grabbed a pillow, screaming her lungs out into it until her voice was red raw. She was losing control and she had no idea how to deal with it. Jane Rizzoli was always in control, and now that she was losing it, she wasn't sure what else was going to go out the window with it.

xxx

Her phone screamed at her, waking her from her restless slumber. Jane, laying on her stomach looked around, slightly disorientated after falling back to sleep (which was something that rarely happened these days).

"Rizzoli" She slurred sleepily, her voice more hoarse than usual. Korsak's voice rang through the receiver into Jane's pounding head, informing her of a pop and drop in the eastern suburbs. Scribbling down the address on the notepad on her dresser, Jane thanked Korsak dryly and hung up. She buried herself in blankets and groaned loudly. After a few minutes she pulled herself up and padded into the kitchen, being presented with a floor covered in broken glass. She stood shocked for a moment until she remembered what she had done just a few hours before. Trying not to picture the anger that consumed her earlier that morning, she pulled on the nearest pair of shoes and began cleaning her floor as quick as she could.

"Ah!" She exclaimed loudly, leaping up and holding her hand above the sink as she turned on the tap. Blood turned the sink crimson as it flowed from the deep cut on her hand. Rizzoli looked at the wall clock and realised that she needed to go. She reached over to the bench with her spare hand and grabbed a semi-clean tea towel, ripping it into strips using her teeth. After wrapping her hand roughly, changing into her regular work attire and brushing her teeth, she headed out the door, leaving the glass and bloody sink to clean for another time.

"Morning, Detective." Frost greeted Jane at the scene.

"What have we got, Frost?" Jane asked, getting straight to the point, putting her hand into her pocket to hide her bloody hand from her partner.

"Pop and drop. Victims name is Todd Baker." Frost explained, keeping up with Jane's long strides over towards the body.

"Was it a robbery?" Jane asked,

"All his cash and cards were on him. That's how we got the I.D." Jane nodded at this information and knelt down next to the man that lay face down.

"Ah, good morning Dr. Isles." Frost said brightly.

"Hello, Detective." Maura Isles approached, the sound of her heels announcing her arrival long before her greetings. After gloving up, Maura joined Jane kneeling over the body.

"Jane." Maura said in greeting to her colleague and best friend.

"Heya Maura. You're later than usual." Jane said flatly.

"I am having a slight issue with the water pipes in my house currently. It proved somewhat of a hold up this morning." Maura explained, taking in the dark circles under her friend's eyes. Jane nodded though her glazed eyes suggested she hadn't taken in a word of what Maura had just said.

"Victim's name is Todd Baker. Doesn't appear to be a robbery at this stage. Let me know what you come up with. I'll go canvas the area." Jane said as she got up, putting her hands on her knees to push herself up.

Maura gasped. "Jane, your hand! What happened?" Jane flinched away when Maura stood and attempted to take her hand in hers.

"Just an accident. I just didn't have time to patch it up this morning is all." Maura looked at her with concern as she removed the bloodied towel from Jane's hand.

"Jane! This need stitches. Look, once I'm done here, come back to the morgue and I'll stitch you up. Until then..." She let go of Jane's hand and opened up her medical case, taking a piece of gauze and a bandage, wrapping the wound properly. Jane was too tired to argue against Maura, although she was uncomfortable with the attention she was giving her.

"It's fine, Maur. Thanks. Let me know what you come up with. See you back at the precinct." Jane said tiredly turning to follow Frost in their canvas of the area. After hours of asking neighbours and nearby store owners if they'd heard or seen anything that could help with their investigation, Jane and Frost headed back to the station, grabbing coffee on the way. Frost stole the odd glance at his partner as he drove, noticing how tired she had been looking lately.

"Eyes on the road, Frost" Jane barked.

"What happened to your hand?" He asked, despite his partners bad mood.

"Ergh. Dropped some glass last night and tried to clean it up in a hurry this morning." Frost just nodded

"Fair enough." Frost said, leaving the conversation at that after noticing how snappy Rizzoli's answers were. Jane sculled the rest of her coffee as they arrived at the precinct, preparing for the days onslaught of work to begin, and putting away the night that had been.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Jane entered Maura's workspace quietly, seeing the doctor completing the final stages of her autopsy. Maura looked up and smiled at the presence of her friend. Jane pulled herself up onto a bench and sat restlessly as Maura continued her work, sighing loudly in her impatience. After approximately twenty minutes, Maura removed her gloves and returned the body of Todd Baker to the cooling room.

"Follow me." She said to Jane as they headed towards her office. Maura had a suture kit set out on her desk and she ordered Jane to sit.

"Maura, you really don't have to do this." Jane whined, her voice softer than usual due to the pain in her throat.

"Jane, it's a deep gash. It needs to be stitched. You can either get it done here, or at the hospital. Your choice." Maura said as she removed the bandage from Janes hand. Jane slouched in defeat and allowed Maura to go to work. Maura locally anesthetised the area and began stitching the large slice on Jane's palm, clearly having difficulty.

"Jane, stay still!" She frowned.

"Sorry." Jane muttered.

"Sorry. It's just difficult to stitch with all of the scar tissue already here." Maura explained. Jane pulled her hand away from her and got up.

"We're done here." Jane said sharply, moving to leave the room.

"Jane, I..."

"Whenever you're ready with your report, let me know." Jane cut her off and left the room swiftly, leaving Maura standing alone in her office in silence.

xxx

"I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli and this is my Partner Detective Barry Frost. I'm very sorry for your loss, Mrs Baker." Jane said, her voice soft and full of compassion.

"Thank you. Please, take a seat. Can I get you anything?" The grieving mother asked, trying to hold back her tears.

"No, thank you." Frost answered.

"I know this is hard on you, Mrs Baker." Jane begun.

"Call me Molly."

"Right, Molly. We just need to ask you a couple of questions about Todd. Is that okay?" The detective continued. Mrs Baker nodded, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

After an hour of questions and comforting Molly Baker, Jane and Frost were back on the road heading toward the station. Jane sat in the passenger seat going over Maura's autopsy report for the umpteenth time, irritated that it didn't tell them more. Their victim had a single gunshot to the chest, no drugs or alcohol in his system or any obvious markings of a struggle. The fact that he was found in a good neighbourhood not known for drug or gang activity left the detectives with even less of an idea of how to connect the pieces of his murder together.

As they walked back to their work desks, Jane fiddled with the bandage she had roughly tied around her hand after grabbing it on the way out from Maura's office. She was frustrated at the lack of progress they had all made on the case, and she clearly needed another cup of coffee. While Barry sat down to search through any available surveillance footage of their victim around the time of his murder, Jane made her way towards the station's cafe.

"Afternoon Janey." The drawl of Angela's voice greeted Jane as she entered.

"Hey mum. Busy day?" Jane asked, pouring herself some of the mediocre coffee that was supplied there.

"It has been. How about you? Franky said you guys weren't getting many leads on this case."

"That's right." She said, leaning against a table. Maura entered, breaking the small talk between mother and daughter by greeting them both.

"Excuse me, Angela. Do you mind if I borrow Jane for a moment?" The honey-haired woman asked politely.

"Of course. See you Jane. Good luck." Angela said, heading back into the kitchen, leaving the two women alone to talk. Maura looked at Jane sternly, until she broke the silence that had been growing between them.

"What, Maura?" Jane snapped, more aggressively than she intended, immediately sorry as she saw her friends face fall.

"Have I done something to upset you?" Maura asked.

"No, Maura. Of course not. I'm just tired. Sorry for taking it out on you." Jane said, looking at her feet, and fiddling with her bandage – ashamed at the way she had left things with Maura earlier that day.

"Are you having them again?" Maura asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jane blocked, not wanting to even think about the nightmares.

"Jane..."

"Seriously, Maura. Everything is fine, I just didn't sleep well last night." Jane smiled at her friend, hoping she would just drop the subject. "What were you saying about your water system?" She asked, changing the topic.

"Ah, yes. I'm not sure what the problem is, but there is barely any running water in the house at the moment."

"How about I come over after work and fix it?" Jane asked.

"No, I'll just call a plumber." Maura insisted.

"Maura, I've fixed so many water systems in my life with my dad that I should have been a plumber, not a cop." Jane smirked at her friend.

"Good point. Alright, I'll see you later then." She laughed. The two parted ways and headed back toward their work stations. Jane reached her desk and noticed Korsak and Frost staring intently at a monitor.

"Um, guys?" Jane questioned.

"Jane, come and look at this." Korsak said, not taking his face away from the screen. Jane approached and took a place between the two detectives.

"Wha..." Jane began as Barry rewound the footage.

"Shh, Just wait." Both men said simultaneously. The footage contained their victim, walking alone past a small cafe. The early hours of the morning explained the lack of people around. The recording showed Todd approaching the corner of the alley he was found in before disappearing around the corner. There was a burst of light which they could only assume to be muzzle flash, before a figure similarly dressed turned the corner and began walking back towards the camera.

"Wait. What?" Jane said loudly.

"Right?" Frost said, pausing the video on the suspects face.

"But that's...that's..."

"Todd Baker. Alive." Korsak finished her sentence, just as confused as she was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Jane's hands rushed to her hip, taking her mobile phone from its holder.

"Maura!" Jane said, excited that they finally had a possible suspect, regardless of how trivial it currently seemed.

"Jane? Is everything alright? If you can't make it tonig..."

"No, Maura. We might have a break. I need you to re-check that time of death that you put. Are you certain that it is completely correct?" Jane rushed.

"Of course it is. I was very particular in how I worked it out using..."

"Okay. Thanks, Maura." Jane butted in again. "Actually, you're good with faces. Could you come up here and check out this video we found of our vic?" Jane continued.

"I'll be right up." Jane hit end call and told Frost to rewind the footage once again as Maura was going to take a look at it.

Korsak and Frost turned to one another, discussing that the footage didn't make sense unless their victim had a twin. Which to their knowledge (thanks to Frost's computer skills), was not recorded in the system. The clicking of heels made Jane aware of Maura's presence.

"Hi Dr. Isles." Frost and Korsak chimed together.

"Afternoon, Detectives." Maura said politely, as she took her spot next to Jane. Jane smiled at Maura and thanked her for coming up so quickly.

"Watch this." Jane pointed to the screen as Barry played the video again. Maura stood quietly, her concentration fully given to the footage upon the screen. She jumped ever so slightly when the gun flash crossed the screen, causing Jane to lose focus and look towards her best friend. She was surprised when she only just noticed the beautiful blue figure-hugging dress she was wearing. She'd been too lost in her own head to realise just how wonderful Maura looked today, and she mentally kicked herself for being so selfish. After a short moment, she realised that Maura was actually talking.

"Can you pause it. Yes. Just there." She instructed Frost. Jane's focus returned to the screen, but she made a mental note to compliment Maura on the dress later on.

"There. Now zoom." The pixelated face of their suspect filled the screen.

Maura frowned, and then further instructed Frost to zoom out slightly, and bring up the picture of our victim next to that of the suspect on the screen.

"The resemblance is certainly curious."

"It's the same dude! It's spooky." Jane chimed.

"It's not spooky, Jane. It can't be the same person considering one of them is dead in my morgue." Maura explained matter-of-factly. "Have you looked to see if Todd has a twin?" Maura asked. Frost just nodded. "And the mother never said anything of another child?"

"Nope." Jane said, running her good hand through her hair.

"It's definitely the same face." Maura confirmed. "Notice how the jaw is set at the same angle?" Maura points out to the three detectives. They all just nodded dumbly as Maura rambled on about some facial markers and the like.

"Thanks for coming up, Maur. I'll see you tonight." She said when Maura had finished. Grabbing her jacket, she motioned to Frost to follow her. They were back in the car headed to Mrs Baker's residence, with Frost taking the wheel once again.

Jane stepped out of the car, knowing immediately that something was wrong. She took out her gun and slowly approached the front door of the Baker's residence. Frost, knowing full well to trust Jane's instincts, followed suit. The sound of something smashing inside the house moved Jane into action swiftly, opening the door quietly but quickly and entering the building with gun raised and at the ready. She and Frost moved quickly through the house, clearing rooms as they went. The sound of a male's voice made the two detectives look in the same direction. They ran forwards to one of the rooms towards the back of the house. Standing outside the door, Jane motioned to Frost to enter on three before counting and bursting in through the door. They were confronted with a hooded man, holding tightly onto Molly Baker's limp form, despite the gun in his hand. The arrival of the detectives spooked him, sending him flying towards them. Frost attempted to crash tackle the man, but was knocked aside, leaving just Jane between the door and his escape. The gun in the hooded man's hand became raised, and before the detective could react, she was pistol whipped on the side of the head. She crumpled, hitting the floor hard. The suspect then sprinted towards the back door. Frost picked himself up and started after him, finding himself in an empty backyard – their suspect gone. Barry sprinted back inside to his injured partner.

"Jane?" Frost pleaded.

"Hmph." Jane sounded, disorientated but coming to.

"Did..did you get him?" She said, slurring her words slightly.

"He just disappeared." Frost explained. "Come on, let's get you up."He said, taking hold of Jane and helping her to her feet. Jane felt at her head, slick with blood at the touch.

"Is she..."

"Dead." Frost said, checking the women's pulse. "Yeah."

"None of this makes any sense." Jane said, thinking out loud. Frost just nodded, pulling out his phone and alerting the station of the situation.

xxx

Light blinded her momentarily, the paramedic giving Jane's condition the once over and checking her pupil's reaction to light. She shifted uncomfortably, eager to get back to work.

"You'll be fine. It won't need stitches. You've got a very mild concussion so I'm going to suggest you rest." The medic told her.

"Now that is something I would like to see!" Korsak laughed as he made his way over to the ambulance. "Thanks for your help." He told the medic, taking the younger detective by the shoulders and directing her towards his car.

"Come on, let me drop you home." Jane went to argue, but realised how incredibly tired she was so said nothing of it, allowing herself to be lead to Korsak's car.

xxx

Jane sat deep in thought on her couch, the television muted in front of her. She hadn't moved since she had walked in the door hours ago, nor did she plan to, until there was a familiar knock on her door. She got up slowly, trying to not disrupt the pain in her head.

"Come in, Maura." She said, pulling the door open and stepping aside.

"Hi, Jane. I hope I'm not disrupting you?" Maura said, concern crossing her brow when she saw the state of Jane's bruised face.

"You should see the other guy." Jane said to stop Maura staring at her.

"I bet you're wishing you did." Maura said. Jane laughed at Maura's joke and pulled her into a hug.

"Yeah. He had his face covered with a bandanna a hood so it was impossible to see who he was. Same build and height as our suspect from the video footage though." Jane said, sitting down and patting a spot on the sofa next to her.

Maura sat, hand on Jane's leg as she listened to her speak. "So you think it was the same guy?"

"I'm pretty certain. Not that I got a good look at him. How come you're here anyways?" Jane asked. Not that Maura nor her needed a reason to turn up unannounced that each other's houses.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Frost told me about today and said you looked pretty rattled."

"Pfft." Jane played it off. "Just another day." She laughed hollowly, causing Maura to smile slightly. "Would you like a glass of something?" Jane offered.

"Sure. I'll get it, you stay here." Maura said, putting her hand on Jane's shoulders and gently pushing her back into the couch. Maura moved smoothly into the kitchen, the rhythmic swing of her hips making Jane somewhat sad that she had changed out of the dress she wore earlier.

"Wow." Maura said flatly.

"What?" Jane asked, turning her head upwards, hoping Maura hadn't caught her staring. The sudden movement caused a flash of pain to flood through her head.

"You weren't kidding about the glass." Maura replied, the look of concern returning to her face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

Seeing Jane's reaction, Maura quickly dropped the topic of the small dent in the wall and the glass-covered floor. Knowing that Jane would talk about whatever it was that was bothering her when she wanted to. After pouring herself a glass of wine that sat in the fridge for her benefit, Maura returned to the couch, handing a beer to Jane who was staring blankly at the baseball game on the television.

"Would you mind if I showered here tonight, Jane?" Maura asked, breaking the silent that had filled the room. As a person who was normally quite content with silence, the recent weeks of it from Jane had begun to worry her.

"Jane?" She asked again. Jane looked up, eyes still slightly glazed over. "May I shower here tonight?"

"Of course." Jane answered. "Oh, your plumbing. Sorry, I never quite got to that."

"That's okay, I've hired a plumber to come first thing tomorrow morning. Saves you the hassle." Maura explained.

"Fair enough. I got a call from Ma. She said she was going to come over tonight and check on me and also use my hot water." Jane explained.

Maura checked her watch, realising how late it was getting. "She's not coming over now surely?"

"I convinced her not to. But she'll be here tomorrow morning no doubt to have a shower and all that." Jane said, her focus appearing to turn back to the game on television. Maura sat in silence finishing her wine before getting up to take a shower.

"You can stay here tonight if you like? It's getting pretty late." Jane said as Maura walked towards the cluttered bathroom. Maura smiled and thanked Jane before closing the door.

Jane was fast asleep when Maura exited the bathroom. She grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and placed it gently over her sleeping friend. After turning off the television and lounge room light, she moved to the kitchen and began cleaning up the glass with a dustpan so as to avoid cuts. Soon afterwards, she turned off the lights in the apartment and lay down on Jane's unmade bed, sleep coming to her quickly.

xxx

Darkness surrounded Jane as she woke again in a cold sweat. The lack of light making her panic and leap from the couch, knocking her untouched bottle of beer off the coffee table. A light in her bedroom turned on, spooking her further as she was still disorientated from her dream state.

"Jane?" Maura called. All Jane heard was a screaming in her ears, causing her to back away against the far wall, her gun held aloft. Maura entered, her hands entering the air as she saw the gun.

"Jane?" She said again quietly, slowly edging towards her friend. Jane began to shake violently, her knees giving out causing her to drop to the floor. After a moment, she seemed to realise the gun in her hand, throwing it aside as though it was poisonous.

"Shit, Maur. I'm so sorry." She choked. Maura rushed to her side and pulled into a tight hug as her friend began sobbing heavily. After calming down, Maura helped her exhausted friend stand and lead her to the shower. She began helping her semi-catatonic friend undress.

"I..I've got it." Jane said, suddenly blushing as she realised she was standing before Maura in her underwear. Maura let the water run, testing the temperature, before squeezing Jane's shoulder and closing the bathroom door quietly behind her.

"I'm just outside if you need me." She said through the door. Maura knew that Jane had been having the odd nightmare, but it was now clear to her just how serious and frequent they had become. Through the door, she could hear the gentle sobs of her best friend, breaking her heart just that little bit.

Eventually, Jane emerged from the shower. Her bathrobe was draped across her thin frame, her appearance frail in the dim lamplight of her room. Maura lay on her back on the blankets of the double bed, reading a book from Jane's shelf as her friend entered the room. Upon seeing her, she jumped up and pulled the covers back on Jane's side of the bed – which she had freshly made up for its owner. Jane slowly got into bed and lay down as Maura pulled the blankets up around her before turning towards the doorway.

"Stay?" Jane mumbled, grabbing her friends hand tightly.

"Of course." Maura said, taking Jane's hand in hers. "Is there anything else I can get you?" She offered.

"Just sleep." Jane said, stifling a yawn. Maura nodded and pulled the covers back on the other side of the bed, getting in swiftly and turning off the lamp. Immediately, a hand grabbed her arm like a vice.

"Leave it on? Please?" Jane pleaded. Maura heard the fear in her voice and immediately turned the light back on. She took Jane's hand and gave it a squeeze, letting her know that she was there for her if the nightmares began to take hold again. Jane curled into a ball as close to Maura as possible and fell into the deepest sleep she'd had in months.

xxx

"Jane I just..." Angela came bursting into the room, stopping suddenly when she saw the two women lying closely side by side. Maura came to at the sound of Angela's voice, catching sight of her blushing face.

"Oh." Angela sounded, leaving the room as quickly as possible. Maura attempted to get up from the bed, trying her best to not disturb Jane, whose arms were tangled around her waist.

"Angela!" Maura hissed, keeping her voice low as she entered the kitchen.

"Erm. I just came to use the shower. Jane said last night that that would be fine." She said, avoiding eye contact.

"Of course." The two stood in awkward silence for a moment. "Erm. That wasn't what it looked like, in there." Maura attempted to explain, motioning towards the bedroom.

"Right." Angela said, her face returning to crimson.

"She didn't have a good night is all. I said I'd stay close. That's all it was." She stammered. Without a word, Angela just nodded and headed towards the bathroom with her items of clothing in hand, leaving Maura standing in the kitchen alone with her thoughts of what it really was that had happened the previous evening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

"Hello?" Maura answered. "Oh sorry, Detective Korsak. Yes, this is Jane's phone. She's still in bed is all."

Jane emerged bleary eyed from her room, seeing Maura on the phone.

"Alright. I'll pass that on to her. Thank you, Detective." She continued politely before hanging up and turning to face Jane who leant against the kitchen bench.

"Who was that?" Jane said through a yawn.

"Korsak. He said you can have the day off and just come back when your head is better. Speaking of which." Maura moved towards Jane, her hands gracing the side of her friend's face gently. Ignoring the slight hitch in Jane's breathing due to what she assumed was her touch, Maura moved her friend's head to one side, seeing that the bruising had spread and turned a deep purple colour, with her eye now blackening slightly.

"Any pain?" Maura asked, trying to sound like the doctor that she was, her voice going soft however as she looked on at her friend, her heart going out to her. Jane turned her head away nodding slowly, avoiding eye contact with her.

"Look, about last night..." Jane begun.

"Oh my God!" Angela squawked, entering the room in her work clothes and a towel wrapped around her head. "That looks awful, Jane!"

"Gee. Thanks ma." Jane said sarcastically, turning her face away from her mother so she couldn't see the extent of the bruising on her face.

"Jane has the day off work today. Seeing as she has a mild concussion." Maura said quietly, not wanting to disturb mother and daughter.

"I think that's best." Angela said, not looking at Maura directly but continuing to fuss over Jane. "Can I get you anything before you go, Jane?"

"I'm fine, Ma. Just a bit of a headache." Jane said flatly, wishing her mother would leave and take her usual loud voice with her. Jane moved towards the bathroom, leaving her mother and Maura in the kitchen. An awkward silence surrounded them until Angela began to speak.

"Sorry about before. I...it..."

"Me too. Look I was just looking after her. She wasn't that great last night and she just needed somebody close." Maura tried to explain – it was the truth, but it sounded like a lie to her own ears, and she was uncertain as to why.

"I know. I mean, it doesn't matter. I don't mind if...you..." Angela stammered.

"If I what?" Maura asked.

"Jane's personal life is her personal life. As is yours."

"Oh. You think that I am sleeping with your daughter?" Maura asked bluntly, finally realising what subject Mrs. Rizzoli had been having so much difficulty broaching. Angela spat out the water that she had just begun downing.

"That's not..." Angela began. Maura stood emotionless, attempting to understand what it was that Angela was thinking and struggling with.

"Jane is my best friend. If she is having night terrors, I will be there no matter what."

"Jane's having night terrors?" Angela asked with a look of shock on her face. Knowing that she had said too much, Maura turned and tried to busy herself with wiping down the already (unusually) clean bench of Jane's apartment.

"Maura. Is she? What is happening?" Angela pleaded with her housemate.

"Look, I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe it was just a one off. Something to do with the bump on her head." Maura tried to explain shivering slightly as her mind became consumed with the image of Jane holding a gun to her face.

"Haven't you got work?" Jane said to her mother, standing in the doorway, having clearly heard their conversation.

"But Jane, I..."

"Ma. Go to work. As Maura said, it was a one off. I freaked out 'cos I was just reliving the day I had. It's no big deal." Jane said sternly, her face becoming bare of any emotion. This was the face she donned at work when she had to hide her feelings and deal with the situation at hand. Angela sighed heavily and moved to give her daughter a hug. Jane stiffened but allowed her mother to hold her.

"Alright, alright. Sentimental much?" Jane tried to use humour to reassure her mum that she was fine, and it seemed to work as Angela brushed her hair then headed out the door of the apartment with one final hug for Jane.

"Jane, I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell her I just think she should know that you're not coping." Maura stuttered. Jane just nodded and moved towards the couch, collapsing onto it heavily. Maura followed her soon after and sat on the opposite end, uncertain of what Jane was thinking. That stoic face made it so damned difficult to see how Jane really felt and that scared Maura when she wore it outside of work.

"And sleeping together? Seriously? Why on earth did that come up in conversation with my mother?" Jane asked with a higher pitch than normal, breaking the silence. The smirk across her face made Maura relax and move slightly closer to her on the couch.

"Angela saw us asleep this morning. As we were...quite close in the same bed, she jumped to the conclusion that you and I were sexually..." Maura said carefully.

"Yes, alright. I get it." Jane cut her off, uncomfortable with Maura further explaining the situation.

"About last night thought, I'm so sorry. I just freaked, I didn't mean to endanger you in any way. God I'm sorry." She said; her defences crumbling as she tried to explain herself to Maura. Maura just simply took Jane's unbandaged hand into her own and begun tracing small circles on the back of it, deliberately avoiding the angry and red looking scars.

"They itchy?" Maura asked regarding her scars. Jane didn't answer but gripped Maura's hand even tighter.

"Don't you need to go to work?"

"I will go in later yes, when I am sure that you are okay." Maura said.

"Maura, I'm fine." Jane said, her voice faltering on the word fine, earning her a knowing look from her best friend. After an hour or so of just sitting together quietly, Jane had convinced Maura to head back to work, leaving her alone in her apartment, regretting the decision of encouraging her to leave.

She decided to clean up the beer spill from the previous night before making herself comfortable once again on the couch to study the notes of their current case. Her focus however, was waning as thoughts of the previous night entered her mind. It was the same old dream, the same sequence of events where he was holding her down, scalpel to her throat and piercing her hands. Then his face changed into the man who abducted her a few months before, his evil grin leering over her as she lay immobilised, on a bed this time. On _her_ bed. Blood ran from the wounds on her neck and hands, her naked body underneath his, completely helpless. It was the same dream every evening, the same feeling of hopelessness and fear. Something she thought she was over – something she had been acting she was over for a very long time. It had been getting worse however and the more she tried to push the memories away, the quicker and more vivid they would come at her in dream form. Last night was a surprise, a variation of the same dream but this time it involved Maura. Maura dying. Maura being the victim instead of her – and truth be told; it was by far the worst dream she had ever had.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

They finally had a lead in the Baker case, seeing that Jane's return to work was incredibly busy. After much digging, Frost discovered that Todd was adopted and also had a twin. Eventually, Frost discovered a missing person's report for Todd's twin brother from 11 years beforehand. Why this information had been so hard to find was a mystery to those at the Boston Police Department.

"This is so weird." Jane said, sitting at desk pouring over everything they had on Todd Baker. Jane discovered that at the age of 10, Todd changed his surname to the family name of his adopted parents – or parent, as his adopted father was killed in a car accident around the same time his brother disappeared. This name change possibly explained why it had been so difficult to find anything about him or his brother on the system. She picked up the file that had been placed on her desk not too long before, and was presented with the autopsy report of Molly Baker. The report, being labelled a suicide had Jane out of her seat immediately and heading down towards the morgue.

"A suicide? What the hell, Maur?" Jane growled aggressively, walking into the Doctor's office.

"Jane?" Maura stood up from behind her desk, surprised at Jane's entrance.

"The guy was right there! How was it a suicide?" Jane continued, confused to hell by Maura's report.

"Jane, just calm down. It was incredibly likely that it was a suicide." Maura kept her voice even, regardless of her irritation at Jane questioning her report.

"But she was shot in the chest!" Jane yelled.

"Post mortem. She was shot post mortem. She died of an overdose Jane." Jane stopped in her tracks, mouth agape at the information Maura just gave her.

"A...wait what?" Jane faltered.

"An overdose. Of anti-depressants yes. According to her medical records, she's been taking them for years for the treatment of severe depression."

"Wha..." Jane stood down, her posture changing completely. "Oh." She took a seat in front of Maura's desk.

"Sorry, Maur. It's just...you see a guy with a gun standing over a body riddled with bullets; it's usually him who did it." Maura cocked an eyebrow at Jane's change of temperament, amusing her greatly.

"What?" Jane asked with a hint of annoyance still in her voice. A laugh bubbled in Maura's chest as she looked at the pouting Jane before her. It was endearing.

"Nothing. Just you." Maura said, shaking her head with a smile on her face, a warm feeling filling her chest as she realised how happy she was to have Jane still in her life.

"Right." Jane said flatly. She still looked weary (despite having the past few days off work), and it showed in her voice – in fact it showed in her whole demeanour. Her shoulders were slumped forwards, she walked without her usual purpose and she was wearing concealer. Maura knew it was unusual for her friend to wear make-up so she logically concluded that it was to hide the dark bags under her eyes.

"I hate this case." Jane growled, picking at the stiches on her hand.

"If it helps, the bullet I pulled from this victim and the last were both from a .045."

"Wait." Jane said, eyes widening at the realisation of what Maura had just said. Jane pulled out her phone and dialled Frost.

"Frost, that guy the other day who clocked me, what kind of gun do you think he was carrying. Both vics had slugs from a .045. No... I mean I saw it... well it's all a little hazy. Right. That's what I was thinking too. Thanks Frost." Jane hung up and turned her attention back to Maura.

"Frost reckons the gun our twin had was a Beretta M9. A standard 9mm military handgun."

"How can he be so sure, he only saw it for a second?" Maura asked.

"He said his dad has one, being a navy officer and all." Jane explained still picking at her stitches, flinching with pain when she pulled one free.

"Hey, don't do that." Maura moved from behind her desk smoothly and knelt down; taking Jane's bleeding hand into her own. Jane's body became rigid, surprised by the sudden close proximity of Maura. She took a few tissues from her desk and held them to Jane's bloody hand. "Hold that on there."

"Maur, it's fine." Jane said, taking the tissues and standing, creating a space between them. Ever since her night terror in front of her, Jane had been avoiding close contact with Maura. Afraid that it might invoke another dream like the one she had that night.

"Got plans for tonight?" Maura asked politely, trying to ease the tension she felt between them.

"Um, not as of yet."

"Would you like to come over to mine? I'll cook dinner."

Jane sighed, seeing that Maura wasn't going to let up until she accepted the offer. "Sure." She moved to walk from the room but Maura grabbed her arm gently.

"Jane?" She said softly. Jane shied away from eye contact despite Maura's eyes burning into her, wanting to avoid seeing the pity in her friend's soft brown orbs.

"I've gotta go back to work, Maur." She said, taking Maura's hand from her arm and walking out the door, leaving Maura alone once again in her office.

Something had begun changing between them. Jane had been becoming distant for months, and Maura had been trying desperately to hold her friend and their friendship together. But lately she had noticed the threads unravelling faster than she could sew them back together. The night terrors only confirming her greatest fear about her friend – She was finally falling down; being pulled into the darkness of her memories and mind.

xxx

"Good morning. Detective Helser is it?" Jane asked, standing in the stranger's doorway.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked, the flywire still between the two of them.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions regarding a case you were involved in about ten years ago?" Jane asked, flashing her badge. Upon seeing her badge, the man opened his door to Jane and welcomed her in.

"By all means, Detective. By the way, it's just Mr. Helser now. I traded my badge in a long time ago for a shot at a normal life. Can I offer you a drink?" He waffled on, seeming somewhat nervous. He motioned the detective towards the couch. Jane declined on the drink and sat down, getting straight to the point.

"I was wondering if you remember working on a case regarding a missing twin? The case of Anthony Baker?" Jane asked, putting a file down onto the coffee table in front of them. Helser opened it, face tight with concentration.

"It looks familiar. Did you find his body?" He asked.

"Ah, no he's not dead." Jane said.

"Oh, I just assumed because you're a detective that..."

"He's a suspect in a current case we're working on. It appears he is no longer missing...or dead. In fact he's very much alive. The reason I am here today is to see if you remembered anything about his particular case."

"Detective, I handled hundreds of missing person's cases in a year. Now, some of them turn up, but the vast majority of them don't. His story was a case and point of that." He said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he dropped the file back on the table, irritation spreading across his face. Jane took this as her cue to leave, standing up and shaking the older man's hand.

"If you remember anything about the case – anything at all, give me a call." Jane said, handing him her card before showing herself out.

Jane dropped heavily into her car and slammed the door, irritated by the detective's lack of cooperation. She took out her cell and called Frost.

"He's hiding something." She said coldly through the speaker.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey guys, sorry for the delay. I've been extremely busy/tired as I have been working at a bushfire all week. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading._

_Bec x_

**Chapter seven**

Jane leant casually against the doorframe as Maura opened her door to her. A large grin spread across the host's face, glad that Jane had come despite the misgivings she knew the detective felt. Swaggering into Maura's kitchen in her usual way, Jane placed a six-pack of beer on her friend's bench before turning to her.

"Look, Maur. I'm sorry about bef..." Maura grabbed the thin woman in a tight hug before she could finish. The detective tensed momentarily before returning the hug, with the realisation of how much she had been worrying Maura of late. Eventually the shorter woman broke the hug and moved to pour herself a hefty glass of red wine. Jane took the bottle opener from the second drawer down and took to one of her bottles of beer. The two women took a seat on the couch close together, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts. The house was quiet except for a slight shuffle in the laundry, stating Bass' presence which startled Jane from her revelry.

"Dinner smells good." Jane said quietly, taking a swig of her beer.

"Beef and ricotta cannelloni." Maura said, her thigh burning at the slight contact it was making with Jane's.

"My favourite. What's the special occasion?" Just asked, suddenly suspicious of this dinner date.

"No occasion, Jane. Just thought I'd make something you enjoyed." Maura wasn't particularly clear in her own mind as to why she had invited Jane for dinner. Normally, neither needed to ask or have a reason to crash dinner at the other's house. For some reason Maura just wanted to make Jane feel special. Loved.

"I always enjoy everything you make." Jane said, leaning in and elbowing Maura in the ribs gently. Maura smiled at Jane's way of showing her how much she appreciated the kind gesture. After a few moments of comfortable silence (something that had been amiss of late), Maura picked up the television remote.

"Red Sox playing tonight?" She asked despite her lack of interest in the sport.

"Yeah, should have started about half an hour ago." Jane said looking at her watch. "Sure there's nothing on you want to watch?"

Maura looked at her friend in surprise, as Jane rarely gave anybody control of the TV when her adored Red Sox were playing. "Baseball is fine." She said after a moment's consideration, making herself comfortable by folding her legs underneath her, taking a small sip of wine and placing her hand gently on Jane's knee. So long as she had Jane close to her tonight, Maura didn't care what they watched. An hour passed and Jane sat in the same position, watching the game quietly; which although was a welcome change from the vicious insults she often hurled at the television during a match, worried Maura some.

"What are you thinking about, Jane?" Maura asked, breaking the other woman from her flood of thoughts.

"Hmm?" Noised Jane, the glaze having formed back over her dark eyes. "Nothing important." She said, forcing a smile.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" Maura posed the question, regardless of the fact that she already knew most of Jane's deepest secrets from the hours they _used_ to spend talking.

"Thanks Maur. I'm fine." She said, hovering her hand over her friend's leg for a moment, then shying away from the touch she had planned. Maura looked at her friend's form; her cardigan hung loosely from her once muscular, but now bony shoulders. Dark bags were fully formed under her eyes and her cheeks looked sunken.

"When was the last time you slept for properly?" Maura continued, feeling that she finally needed to address the worsening state of her friend.

"Maur, it's fine. I'm a detective, we don't exactly work sleep friendly hours." Jane said in an attempt to deflect the question. The shorter woman turned to face Jane, attempting to look her in the eyes.

"I'm just worried about you, Jane. You've lost a lot of weight." Jane pulled her cardigan around her tighter as though she was freezing, moving her eyes to the floor. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Leave it, Maura." Jane snapped, leaving the couch abruptly and turning away from the conversation, in an effort to regain some semblance of her emotions. Failing, she became inundated with the visions she had tried so hard to push down for the night. Maura stood and approached her slowly, noticing the shaking now taking over the taller woman's body.

"Jane." Maura whispered, moving to touch Jane's arm before the detective jerked away at the movement.

"Please." Jane rasped. "I will hurt you."

"I don't unders..."

"I held a gun at your head. I held a gun to the head of my best friend. A loaded gun, Maur. I could have killed you and we just sit here on this couch like it didn't happen. Like none of this has happened. I can't do this anymore." She spilled, words coming from her quickly. It is the most she has said about her feelings in months.

"Can't do what, Jane?" Maura asked as she moved into Jane's eye line; her voice gentle and low.

"All of it." Jane said avoiding eye contact and backing away. "I...I need to go."

"No. Jane, please stay? I need to know you're safe." Maura pleaded, afraid of what her friend might do in this hysterical state. Her logical mind was telling her all the things that she should be doing to handle the situation, but all her emotional mind wanted to pull Jane in close and hold her until all of her friends pain went away.

"I can't." She said flatly, tears streaming from her eyes as she slammed the door behind her.

xxx

The brown liquid felt like it was burning a hole through her throat, but she revelled in the pain it brought her, sinking another glass and then another. Her mobile buzzed loudly on the table again and knowing it would be Maura, she ignored it; too ashamed at herself for not being able to get through just one night without the flood of images and memories. With a choke back of tears, she poured herself another glass and stumbled into her bedroom.

All she could see was their faces. Their twisted and distorted faces - coming for her. They were not just haunting her in her dreams anymore. They were real. And he was leading them. He with his scalpels and evil grin and orange jumpsuit; inching ever closer into her consciousness. Then there was Maura. A glow surrounding her, a soft smile on her delicate, beautiful face. She was so fucking beautiful. Jane ran. Ran to reach her, but their greedy hands grabbed and pulled her down, until she could no longer move, no longer speak or scream – no longer see her light. Leaving her completely surrounded by darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey all. Again, I'm super sorry for the delay. I've been crazy busy moving and beginning my new university degree. Now I'm all settled, I should be able to type more consistently. Anyways, Thanks for you patience. Kind regards, Bec xx_

**Chapter eight**

Maura sat at her desk, shifting every few minutes uncomfortably. The paperwork that sat in front of her blurred and her mind drifted to the evening before, her chest filled with worry at just the thought. Suddenly, her phone buzzed next to her, she leapt at it quickly hoping it was her on the other end.

"Doctor Isles, hey. It's Frost."

"Oh, Detective Frost. Hello." Maura said, attempting to cover the disappointment in her voice.

"I was wondering if you've seen Jane this morning? She hasn't come into work this morning." Barry explained, his tone full of worry.

"Ah, no I haven't. Have you tried calling her?" Maura asked, the conversation not lessening the uneasiness she felt in her stomach.

"More than once. It goes straight to voicemail."

"Okay, look I'll see what I can do. Maybe she's just unwell." Maura explained, hoping to God that she was right. She was still kicking herself for not following Jane after her outburst the previous evening and even more mad for not calling around in the morning. Before she could say anymore, Jane appeared in her doorway.

"Actually Barry, she's just arrived. Yes. Standing in my office. Alright I'll let her know. Thanks Detective." Maura placed her phone in front of her and took in the sight that was Jane Rizzoli.

"Hey." Jane said, eyes downcast.

"Jane, I was...How are you?" Maura said, surprised by her friend's sudden presence.

"Fine. Look, last night. Can we just forget about it? Everything is fine, okay?" Jane said forcefully.

"But..."

"Just keep it between us, yeah?" Jane asked, finally looking Maura in the eye from across the room. Despite the distance, the look in her friend's eyes sent shivers down her spine. She had seen this look in the eyes of cornered animals; a look of complete wild fear and ferociousness. Jane was cornered by her troubles, and this was her way of telling her to back off and leave her alone. Something that Maura never seemed able to do when it came to Jane.

xxx

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence, Rizzoli."

"Shut it, Frost." Jane grunted.

"Big night, Jane?" Korsak asked, a smirk on his face. Jane plonked herself down in her desk chair heavily, her body feeling like lead.

"You could say that." She said, training her still slightly blurred vision to the fresh papers sitting on desk. "Any news on this Detective Helser fella?" Jane asked, looking up at her fellow detectives. They both sat staring at her, seemingly surprised by her unusual late entrance and the smell of whisky quite possibly radiating off her.

"Erm, there's a few things I found there, but we're still running backgrounds on him. Appears pretty clean currently. Couple of warnings against him. That's the write ups of them there." Frost explained, motioning to the paper work in front of the surly detective.

"Right." Jane said shortly, rubbing her pounding temples whilst reading the incredibly brief reports before her. "Yeah, doesn't give us much."

"Look, this guys involvement is a long shot. Shouldn't we just keep working with what we already have? I mean that is kinda our job." Korsak said bluntly. Jane shot a look at him, a scowl on her face.

"Korsak, this guy is involved somehow. Trust me. A kid doesn't disappear and then show up ten years later supposedly killing people without a reason. This guy was so nervy when I broached the Baker case. He knows something. If you want to continue doing your job, then by all means, do. Let me know when you close the god damned case." Jane growled angrily before stalking away towards the bathrooms, leaving Frost and Korsak by themselves once again.

The cold water on her face brought her back to the harsh reality that was the day ahead of her. Dead ends and a trail of evidence going cold before her. The twists and turns of the case were a jumble in her head, mixing in with the visions of the previous night, before she passed out in a drunken stupor.

"Here." A soft voice said beside her. Jane jumped in surprise, not having heard the smaller woman enter the room. She eyed the tablets in Maura's hand suspiciously, before reaching out and grabbing them.

"Thanks." Jane said before placing the pills on her tongue and bending underneath one of the bathroom taps to wash them down.

"Go home, Jane." Maura said bluntly, eyes burning into Jane through the mirror. Bowing her head and nodding slightly, Jane's face crumpled.

xxx

"Sure you don't want me to come up with you?" Maura asked softly, as they sat in the idling car.

"No."

"Okay, well call if you need anything."

"I just need to sleep." Jane said flatly, eyes straight ahead and hand on the door handle. Maura's hand made it's way onto Jane's lap, her thumb rubbing a gentle circle in a gesture of reassurance. Jane flinched at the action but allowed it, her shoulders relaxing and her hand drifting down to rest on her friend's.

"I just...I..." Maura squeezed Jane's hand assuring her it was okay to say what she needed to. A loud sigh emanated from the detective, her shoulders slumping forward once again in defeat. "I should go." She opened the door and climbed from the car, waving briefly before closing the door and walking towards her apartment building.

Jane entered her apartment sleepily; the daze she was in clouding her judgement. Impairing her ability to detect the very tiny signs of a skilled break in to her apartment.


	9. Chapter 9

"Don't move." A deep voice said from behind her. The hard steel of a gun pressing into her spine was enough to make the detective comply.

"Anthony Baker I presume." Jane said strongly, despite the fear she felt. Baker pushed Jane forward gently, making her face him. Jane reached for her gun but he raised his weapon to her chest.

"I wouldn't do that." He said quietly. Jane raised her hands as the twin removed her pistol and looked her down for any other weapons she might be carrying, before unloading the detectives gun and placing it on her dresser.

"What do you want?" Jane voiced.

"Just to talk." Baker stated calmly, his chiseled face clear of any emotion.

"Like you talked to your mother and brother?" Jane scoffed.

"I don't want any trouble."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before holding a detective at gunpoint. I hear they dish out a lengthy sentence for things like that nowadays." Jane said smartly, attempting to get the man in front of her to show some form of emotion.

"Right. Yeah, sorry." Baker put his gun into the front of his pants. "Like I said, I don't want trouble. I'm just here to talk."

"About killing me, along with the rest of your family?"

"Killing you? No. I'm here to warn you. Protect you, if you will." The young mans face twisted slightly, dark flashing across his eyes. "Sadly not from yourself though." He added,staring at the empty bottle of whisky on the bench.

"Protect me?" Jane scoffed.

"You see detective, you have no idea what you or your squad has stumbled upon." Anthony took a seat on one of Jane's rough and worn couches. He sat in silence for a moment, taking in the surroundings of the Jane's messy apartment.

"I mean no offence when I say this Detective Rizzoli, but did you wonder why the former detective's house was so nice?" Baker looked around Jane's apartment, hinting at it being squalor compared to that Detective Helser's lovely home.

"Former detec...Have you been following me?" Jane raised her voice.

"I have." The young man said calmly. Jane ran her hand through her hair, completely at a loss as to what the stranger in her house was talking about. "Or rather, I'm just following the evidence. Much the same as you, Detective." He continued cooly.

"You need to explain what you are doing here. Right now." Jane yelled, well and truly threatened by the man sitting before her.

"Sit down, Detective."

"This is my house! Don't tell me what to do." She raged.

"Of course. How rude of me. Would you please take a seat, so we can discuss this like adults?"

"Getting in the way of a murder investigation is a criminal offense. And the way you've been messing around with the evidence is more..."

"I am your evidence!" Baker suddenly shouted. Jane fell quiet and watched the younger man attempt to regain his composure. He sighed deeply and sat forward on the couch, a pleading look on his once blank face. "Look. This guy is good for both recent murders, and the murder of my father." Baker looked down and pulled his now beeping phone from his pocket, then murmured an expletive. He got up from the couch and moved to the door before Jane could say anything.

"I will be in touch." He said, walking out the door. Jane shook her head, completely dumbfounded by the scene that just played out in front of her. She stood shocked for a moment, then ran to the door.

"Which guy?" She shouted, running down the stairs of her apartment building after the twin. She reached the empty street below, her only evidence disappearing once again, like smoke before her eyes. Jane huffed out a breath and turned back towards her apartment but stopped suddenly, recognising the car parked at the end of her street.

"Helser?" Jane thought out loud. She shook her head and headed back inside and began the climb towards her apartment, completely certain that she was just being paranoid and over thinking the words just said to her by their only supposed suspect.

Jane re-entered her apartment, relieved she was alone when she opened the door. She'd spent too many days and nights worrying about someone being on the other side with malicious intent. On her way in, she noticed her gun on the dresser exactly where Baker had left it. Beside it sat the ammunition he emptied from it and placed in his jacket pocket.

With a furrow in her brow, Jane reloaded her gun and collapsed on the couch, thinking perhaps she was completely wrong about the suspected twin. Jane took out her phone and considered dialing the station to alert Frost or Korsak of the encounter she just had, but thought better of it realizing that protocol would override anything that she said and felt regarding their suspect. She was in two minds - could this Baker guy be playing her, or could her team have stumbled upon some deep and tangled murder conspiracy? She thought the latter seemed incredibly fictitious, but then again, all she had to do was look at her own life to see just how unbelievable things could be.


End file.
